Collateral Bloggage

I’m a grown man. Maybe not a mature man, but I’m fully grown, darn it! I can open my own stinkin’ door!

Background: To get into my building, I have to walk through the outer doors, then the inner doors, then a badge-detection portal. The badge-reader requires about a two second delay between entries or it beeps at you and you have to go through again. Therefore it’s in my best interest to be about, let’s see…two seconds behind the person in front of me. The doors should aid me in this goal.

But…no. Moron in front of me is probably ten seconds ahead but insists on opening the door, stepping inside, then holding onto the door in a very uncomfortable-looking manner. Sigh. Typically I’ll scowl and shake my head, although sometimes I stop and pretend to need to tie my shoes. I wear Birkenstocks.

Assuming I choose the former and accept this “generosity,” I’m now directly behind this idiot. Second set of doors (six feet away)…same drill. Grrrrr.

At this point, thanks to this moron, I actually have to slow down before going through the portal. Grrrrr.

If you’re reading this, and you do this…don’t. It’s not generous. It’s not helpful. It’s annoying. Unless the person behind you is impaired in some way (hands full, in a wheelchair, on crutches, missing an arm, voted for Kerry), let the door swing naturally. If they’re close enough that you could hold the door without it being awkward…don’t. Let it swing. They’ll catch it. Two arms. They work. Americans get little enough exercise as it is…we should not be deprived of opening our own doors!

I had a guy hold the door for me going into the bathroom. Seriously? I almost punched him. Swirly would have been more appropriate. If he hadn’t been my manager we really would have had a problem.