Collateral Bloggage

Seriously, have I heard these songs before? Nope. Oh well. That’s all I have.

Seriously, have I heard these songs before?  Nope.  Oh well.  That’s all I have.

Onto the recap:

Carrie Underwood, “When God-Fearing Women Get the Blues” - I’m with Simon here…I don’t get country music. Yes, there are isolated songs and artists that I can tolerate. Sorry, Carrie, this wasn’t one of those songs. You *can* be one of those singers. Not tonight. I thought your voice was trapped by that song. Free…your voice.

Bo Bice, “I Don’t Want To Be” - 2 for 2 now on “songs Seth has never heard (SSHNH).” Personally, I liked the sunglasses, and you really know how to handle that mike stand. Well done, but I wasn’t blown away.

Vonzell Solomon, “I Turn To You” - Hey, I know that one! Very well done. What’s not to love about The Vonz?

Anthony Fedorov, “Surrender” - 3 of 4 now on SSHNH. I have to grudgingly admit that was a pretty good vocal performance, but it occurred to me that you really need to sing a Scorpions power ballad, like “Send Me an Angel,” “Winds of Change,” or “Still Loving You.” I actually think you’d rock on one of those. The accent would even work.

Constantine Maroulis, “How You Remind Me” - 4 of 5, or 80% SSHNH! Great performance, but I’m not sure you were really trying up there. I mean, you did your thing, but it almost looked too practiced to me, like you’d done it a million times and were bored with it. Also, I have to ding you on a technicality…we have a rule that limits you to one “fake camera kick” per song. You went for two. Hate to do it, but I have to dock you.

Scott Savol, “Dance With My Father” - And we hold at 80%. I knew the song. That was the sole positive for me. Sorry, dude, it’s just not happenin’. The wheels have come off. Head home now. Buh-bye.

My rankings:

1. Vonzelle
2. Bo
3. Anthony
4. Constantine
5. Carrie
6. Scott

Unfortunately, I missed last week. Okay, I saw part of it (on live TV in Atlanta) and thought Bo and Vonzelle were good. Didn’t see most of the rest though. So my “Doing the Math” will miss some trending data this week (and there was much rejoicing from the non-geeky). So this week I’ll just pop the average ranking box:

Notice Vonzelle prominently tied for first. I’m picking her now to win it all. The only handicap I see is that she’s, well, female, and I think that may be the difference that lets Bonstantine (take your pick of Bo or Constantine) beat her out for the title.

As for the Results Show this week, I’m predicting an inexcusable waste of my time resulting in Scott going home. Carrie and Anthony will join him in the cellar. Oh, and that’s based on my 80% accurate prediction machine.

Same time, next week?

Hello to all!

I’m conducting some research for a book I’m planning to write…about restrooms. So, without further ado, you must answer me these Questions Three:

1. What’s the most disgusting thing you’ve ever seen in the restroom?

Example: A friend told me today that while he was washing his hands, a man emerged from the stall, strode to the faucet, turned it on, scooped up some water in his (uncleansed) hand, slurped it into his mouth, and proceeded to finger-brush his teeth. Faucet off, hands dried, he returned to work. Ew.

2. Are you a stall introvert/extrovert/hybrid? Explain.

Example: Borderline introvert. I wait for cover noise (toilet flush, faucet running) unless I’m really time constrained, and I’m prone to just wait out the other stall users.

3. How thoroughly do you wash your hands? When people aren’t looking? When people are?

Example: OCD_HANDWASHER. Yeah. Every time, like a doctor prepping for surgery.

(optional - males only - unless it applies to you as a female also…and if so…ew)
4. Seriously, do you think that 1/2 second you put your hands under the water (sans soap) does anything?

Okay, so this just expresses the contempt in which I hold those who fake washing their hands. Just walk out if you really don’t want to wash. But, please, dude, do NOT insult my intelligence. And please stop breathing.

Okay, this is officially the coolest category they’ve ever done on AI. Let’s face it, most of us never really listened to the music of the year of our birth. Very cool to stretch the Idols that way. This week I’m going to act like one of the judges again.

…on to the recap:

Nadia - “When I Dream” - Hmm…I didn’t love it, but I *did* like it. Pretty well performed, with some pitch issues here and there. Biggest problem for me was that the major pitchiness I heard was at the end of the song. A slightly biggest-er problem is that you went first and you just. Were. Not. Memorable.

Bo - “Free Bird” - Definitely a spirited performance. I don’t really know the song, but I liked your version. Your best in a couple of weeks. But this is really judging you against yourself, and I’m not sure how you’ll do against the other Idols.

Anwar - “I’ll Never Love This Way Again” - Two good weeks in a row. Still love your voice…nothing changed there. I liked the performance, but I’d still like to see some more animation in your face…you still look puzzled up there.

Anthony - “Every Time You Go Away” - If only you would…seriously, it was a great song choice for you and you performed it quite well. Still something karaoke about you, though. There’s something that looks insincere in your performance and body language…like you’re faking it. Judging you against yourself, you did great. How did you do against the others? We’ll see.

Vonzelle - “Let’s Hear it For the Boy” - Although nothing can compare to my little sister’s lip sync of this song, you did me proud…still my girl! I thought the key was just a notch too high for you tonight, though. Still, nice job. One thing I count on every week is that Vonzelle will entertain me.

Scott - “She’s Gone” - Great song choice. That’s the good news. Bad news is, you didn’t hit this one out of the park like you should have. Yes, the second half of the song was very good, but the first half stunk. Stunk. Like poo. Seriously.

Carrie - “Love is a Battlefield” - Definitely not boring. That’s the good news. Bad news is, I didn’t buy it. And what was up with that Dancing Santa boogie you were doing through the whole stinkin’ song? If you can’t dance…then don’t! The thing is here, you sang just fine, but I hated it. If you want to pretend to be a rocker, go with “Hell is for Children.”

Constantine - “Bohemian Rhapsody” - Wha? Seriously? I actually *LOVED* that! Very bold song choice, very well done. I admit I didn’t like you for the first two weeks or so, but you’ve been coming on strong.

My rankings:

1. Constantine
2. Anwar
3. Vonzelle
4. Bo
5. Nadia
6. Anthony
7. Scott
8. Carrie

At this point I’m picking Vonzelle for Top Three. She’s just so perky and fun, and she can actually sing. I don’t think Carrie will go home this week, but I do think she’ll cellar-dwell along with Scott and Nadia. Nadia will go home. Anthony still needs to go, but he’ll be this year’s recipient of the Carmen Rasmussen/John Stevens/Nikki McKibbin Hangin’ Around Award for Undeserved Advancement.

“Doing the Math” is showing me that Constantine is to be contended with, and that Nadia’s exit this week will be the biggest upset since Tamyra was booted in favor of Nikki.

Here’s how the math works out this week:

Sorted by Average Ranking, it looks like this:

And the trends:

Trending up (moving up by more than one spot): Constantine, Bo, Anthony

Trending down (static rank or down by one or more): Anwar, Nadia, Carrie

Trending flat (moving up by one spot - doesn’t mean anything when there’s one fewer contestant): Scott, Vonzelle

Gotta love math!

Again…Nadia, Carrie, Scott in the bottom, Nadia going home.

Showtunes. I got nothin’ to say.

…on to the recap:

Scott - “The Impossible Dream” - Scott, Scott, Scott…that could have been so much better…you should have blown the roof off it. Not. Happenin’.

Constantine - “My Funny Valentine” - Another interesting song choice…I really wish I’d been able to hear the first half of the song, because I liked the second half. I *do* wonder how much creative control you had in terms of the arrangement of the song, because I dug the arrangement. Of course, anything but the Carly Simon version will do…

Carrie - “Hello, Young Lovers” - Very good, but a trifle boring for me this week. I had to agree with Simon on the old-fashioned thing a bit.

Vonzelle - “People” - The best thing about that song was that the arrangement was *so* *very* not Babs. You’re still my girl, Vonzelle.

Anthony - “Climb Every Mountain” - Hmm…very mediocre…I’m not sure this is a song that can be sexed up…but I’d need more data on that. Didn’t dig it.

Nikko - “One Hand, One Heart” - I’ll start off with a Paula Abdul comment…at least it wasn’t the same old thing you’ve done the last three weeks. Unfortunately, it just wasn’t that great, either.

Anwar - “If Ever I Would Leave You” - Easily your best performance in the last couple of weeks. Very well done, and you mixed in some facial expression. I’m still a huge fan of your voice. Keep it up.

Bo - “Corner of the Sky” - I honestly heard one line of the song as “Mumba ha da babba da.” Still, I think the song suited you. Not your best, though. You can do better.

Nadia - “As Long as He Needs Me” - Perfect song choice, beautiful dress, very well done. Wheels came off a little at the end (didn’t take the high note on “needs” of “he needs me”), but good job anyway…I have a soft spot for musicals I’ve been in (I was Mr. Bumble…first time in a fat suit!).

My rankings:

1. Anwar
2. Nadia
3. Carrie
4. Vonzelle
5. Constantine
6. Bo
7. Nikko
8. Scott
9. Anthony

I’m giving the top spots to Anwar and Nadia, just for choosing really good songs for their voices.

Based on my “Doing the Math” worksheet, I predict Scott, Anthony, and Nikko in the bottom three this week. True, Anwar’s technically lower in my rankings thus far, but his performance should keep him safe this week. There’s a slight chance we could still see Nadia in the unloved group, but that would stink. So, my 83.3% accurate predictions are Scott, Anthony, and Nikko in the Bottom Three, and Anthony taking the train. He just has to go.

Here’s how the math works out this week:

Sorted by Average Ranking, it looks like this:

And the trends:

Trending up (moving up by more than one spot): Scott (barely), Anwar (big-time), Bo

Trending down (static rank or down by one or more): Carrie (no concern), Constantine, Nikko, Vonzelle, Anthony, Nadia

Trending flat (moving up by one spot - doesn’t mean anything when there’s one fewer contestant): Nobody

Gotta love math!

Same time, next week?