I ran out of rant again this week. I’ll say this, though…when do we get Styx week? I’d love to hear Taylor do “Not Dead Yet.” I smile at the thought. But. Do. Not. Touch. Mr. Roboto. Elliott could rock “All in a Days’ Work” though.
Bucky starts off the show by offending his wife with “Fat-Bottomed Girls.” Dude’s gonna stake out some space on yonder couch. Umm…yeah. Okay then. He’s still always just off the center of the note, and it’s just tiresome to me. To quote a movie (shocker), “sigh not so, but let [him] go…”
Ace is next, trying to lend his own flamer, er, flavor to “We Will Rock You.” This is one of the most overrated songs ever. This is actually a good song choice for him since it doesn’t take a whole lot of actual singing. There was a breathtakingly bad stretch there, but I actually liked his obligatory falsetto passage this time. But he can actually leave before Bucky if America would like it so…
Kellie is next, attempting “Bohemian Rhapsody.” I actually dug the faux-1970’s CD Collection pose she struck at the beginning, but this song has to be sung by a man. Sorry. She twanged all the money notes (again, a man wouldn’t do that even if he was a dumb country yokel). I actually laughed when she started “stomping” across the stage when it got rocky. Yeah, stomped isn’t exactly the word…she looked like she was just trying not to fall over while wearing her first heels.
Of course, we also found out that “on paper” to Kellie means “where them thar puppies do their dookies.” I guess it’s not her fault.
Chris takes on the Italian suppository (“Innuendo”), with some success, but not quite enough for me. Maybe he would have had better luck with another song, but I didn’t feel like he did that well with this one. Maybe it’s just a kneejerk disagree with my sister thing, but the only thing I liked was his “To the EEEND of time.” That was kewl. Overall, not impressed.
Katharine asks the Highlander question, “Who Wants to Live Forever.” Love this song, but again it should be sung by a man. However, that being said, Katharine is a complete stud. True, there were actually a couple of chinks in her armor (two or three rough spots), but she worked it out! I liked that she chose not to sing the typical movie parts of the song.
Elliott goes for “Somebody to Love” next, and this dude can choose the hardest songs out there! Coupla rough spots here and there, but I loved it. I worry he’ll run out of steam though, because he really leaves it all out there every week.
Taylor tries to bring himself back with “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” next. Hmm…I *loved* the performance, but the song did not say Queen to me. I guess that’s not all negative, though. Taylor’s back! Complete with full-body-dry-heave!
Paris finishes us off with “The Show Must Go On,” and I was really left somewhat cold again. It’s a problem of the break between her lower and upper registers, I think. In the low range, she’s nothing special. In the upper, she can dazzle. In the lower, the band completely overwhelmed her. And what was up with the Janet Jackson outfit? I guess we’re just part of the Rhythm Nation…
There were a number of good performances this week, but it’s tough to rank them all. Nonetheless, I give my all for you, my loyal reader or two.
Rankings:
- Elliott
- Katharine
- Taylor
- Chris
- Paris
- Ace
- Kellie
- Bucky
Wow! I completely forgot Kellie even sang. If only America would forget…
My predictions are now down to 50%, what we engineers call “A Complete Crapshoot.” From “Doing the Math”, we have this:
I’d go with my bottom three for the official Bottom Three, but I’m sure there will be something unacceptable that actually happens. So, I’ll go with Chris for the token Bottom Three Shocker this week. But Ace will be leaving us. To reiterate: Kellie, Chris, and Ace. Kellie back to the sofa (because they have to make it seem like Chris was closer to gone than he was), and Ace going home. Ridiculous? Who knows. Hopefully I’m wrong and Bucky takes Chris’ place in the Bottom. No heartbreak if Ace goes, though. (Actually, after sleeping on it, I’ll put Paris in the Bottom instead of Kellie).