Archive for March, 2007...
Filed under american idol
“Don't you forget that…scumhawks!”
Sorry, random movie quote.
The rant will not be televised. Just because I don't have one. I think I had one until I saw the catheter bag rupture on “House.” That pretty much blew out my ranting bone.
As I did last week, I'll just rank the folks and give a few comments.
1. Lakisha - I actually hate the song. And she made me like it.
2. Melinda - I'm getting bored going on about what a great singer she is. But I'd like to see her eyes open a little more.
3. Gina - Easily her best work so far. Good song choice, solid vocals.
4. Chris R - I thought the bridge was bloody awful, but the rest of the song was pretty cool. I like the original, but the R&B twist on it was a good thing.
5. Phil - I actually dug this quite a bit. The song really suited him.
6. Jordin - To me, this was like No Doubt meets Beyonce. Not big on that.
7. Blake - Hello? Are you even *interested*? Dude looked like he was gonna fall asleep during this song. Not good enough.
8. Chris S - Listen to the Reethum. Dude, when you've got a lisp, don't pick a song with so many Ses.
9. Sanjaya - Hula. Faux-hawk. That's two strikes. Next week, just wear a dress and get it over with.
10. Haley - Say what you will about Sanjaya, but at least he's *interesting*. Does she consciously pick songs that Miss America would?
Okay, I'm resurrecting my “Doing the Math” (DtM) thing. I've tallied my rankings from the Semis through Week 03, and found that the Semifinal rankings actually have no bearing whatsoever on the order. So, I'm throwing out the Semis. But here's what my non-Semis rankings are:
I'm shocked at how Blake has fallen from my good graces. But he'll be fine. I think Haley, Phil and Chris S. will be the bottom three this week, and I gotta believe Haley's doomed.
Filed under bible
Joshua 9 has an interesting story in it. Of course, if you’ve previously read Joshua, you’ll remember that the book chronicles the conquest of the land of Canaan. The Israelites were to wipe out the Canaanites because of how evil they had become. They were to be the instrument of God’s long-delayed judgment of the inhabitants of the Land.
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Filed under american idol
Since I'm at home holding down the fort for my sick loved ones, I'll be quick and get right to the rankings.
1. Melinda - you consistently rock. I wish you'd have picked a Beatles song, but since I played Mr. Bumble in “Oliver!', I have a soft spot for the song you sang.
2. Jordin - props for breaking up the normal Top Two…I thought you were brilliant tonight.
3. Chris R. - Nice to hear a little less nasal from you.
4. Lakisha - shoulda gone with the other song.
5. Chris S. - loved the song choice. And stop agreeing with the judges!
6. Blake - How is it that you give everything an Island feel? Whatever it is, it's cool. Still, I'd have liked to hear your head voice on the main Chorus “Loving…” part.
7. Phil - you're not really standing out.
8. Gina - ditto. I actually forgot you were there.
9. Sanjaya - best performance to date. Still not makin' it for me.
10. Haley - Totally Beauty Pageant “talent” contest stuff.
11. Stephanie - that was powerful mediocre. Buh-bye.
Bottom three: Stephanie, Haley, Gina. Possibly Phil. And for the Chop? I'll go Haley this week. Why not?
Filed under life
1. It’s much more annoying to leave your Bible than your pillow behind.
2. You can do a surprising amount of praying in a 20-second Zip-Line trip.
3. The pond at the end of the Zip-Line is not pleasant tasting.
4. I am *not* an alto.
5. Soft water is a brilliantly stupid idea.
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Filed under life, rants
Dearest Global Warming Hacks Crusaders,
Try not to freeze your extremities off while attempting to find evidence of Global Warming. Seriously…it actually could hurt your case. And it's gotta stink to lose fingers and toes…
http://www.twincities.com/mld/twincities/news/16887788.htm
Filed under american idol
It's official…this season is booooooooring. Yes, Melinda and Lakisha can sing the ceiling off just about any place. Yes, Jordin is everyone's idea of “cute as a button” and can sing a bit, too. But last night, was just…dreary. I'm not even going to recap it. I'll give less than ten words for each singer:
Brandon - Yer toast. Yawn.
Melinda - You could win in any season…but this year stinks.
Chris S.- Wear the glasses next week. Might help.
Gina - The “punk” thing is wearing thin. Lose the tongue ring.
Sanjaya - Ain't no microphone strong enuf…
Haley - Not bad, but still kinda like a High School Musical.
Phil - I hope he dances sometime, cuz that would be somethin…
Lakisha - Brilliant.
Blake - What have you done with Cool Blake?
Stephanie - Good enough, and yet, “Meh.”
Chris R. - Nose is for breathing…not singing.
Jordin - At least we ended strong.
And my (meh) rankings are:
- Melinda
- Lakisha
- Jordin
- Chris S.
- Haley
- Gina
- Phil
- Stephanie
- Blake
- Chris R.
- Brandon
- Sanjaya
Predictions? No clue. I think Haley got herself another week by doing *something*, but I think Stephanie's toast due to being unspectacular. Sanjaya, of course, will stick around at least another 4 weeks, so we'll lose Brandon. And one alternate…Phil.
If next week isn't a *lot* better, I may quit watching. Right now it's two hours I don't get back. And there's no Elliot.
Filed under american idol
I have no rant this time. Actually, I do. This is not a problem confined to the ladies, but it's certainly more prevalent. The problem? Lowering songs to avoid troublesome “too-high” notes. It's reeeeally annoying. So, a piece of advice for the ladies…choose a song you can actually sing without altering. Now, I'm not saying nobody should ever sing a song in a different key. That's fine, as long as you can still handle the range of the song. But if you can't, just pick something easier, and resign yourself to the fact that YOU ARE NOT GOING TO WIN!!!! Because lowering something, then grinding out on the low notes just idn't gonna get it done. May as well avoid the grinding, sing something well but not spectacularly, then wave buh-bye and leave.
Anyhow, on with the singern.
Appalled
Antonella - While I recognize that there's room in America for people with no talent (think Regis and Paris Hilton) to be successful, there is *not* room in the Finals.
Bored
Haley - Wow…that was powerful cheesy.
Stephanie - The low notes were waaaaay off, but the higher stuff was okay. But I don't really care. No matter how well she sings, her style is just never going to be my cup of tea.
Pleasantly Surprised/Not Overly Impressed
Gina - Nice that she brought a bit of Evanescence (love them!), but she's not quite up to Amy Lee. Most of their songs are too rangy…but I'd love to see someone rock “Going Under” or my favorite of their ballads, “Hello.”
Sabrina - The song was kinda all over the place. And it took me a good ten seconds to remember anything at all about the performance.
Impressed
Lakisha - The vocal performance alone would go in “Blown Away,” but it's Whitney, so I have to demote her.
Jordin - She probably didn't deserve this ranking, but she sang Pat, so she gets a break.
Blown Away
Melinda - There's not much left to say. Every song she picks is a great song. Know why? Cuz she *sings* them well. Seriously, can we end the season early?
-
Melinda
-
Lakisha
-
Jordin
-
Gina
-
Stephanie
-
Sabrina
-
Haley
-
Antonella
I wouldn't be shattered if Antonella made it through to the Finals (cuz there aren't six *truly* deserving ladies, or men for that matter). I'd feel sorry for her. But there's no way she or Haley *should* go on. But, since America is clearly stupid, I'll predict that one of them will leave, and either Stephanie or Sabrina will join her. Or Gina…or somebody else. I'm certain of it.
Reminds me of my favorite scene from “Cheers” (of the 8 times I watched it). Frasier is reading from A Tale of Two Cities to Cliff and Norm (et al):
Frasier: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair…”
Cliff: “Boy, that Dickens sure liked to keep his butt covered, didn't he?”
And that should do it. I'll find out the results at some point, after NOT WATCHING THE RESULTS SHOW!!!!
Filed under american idol
Right off the bat, I'll just point out that there will be no entries for “Blown Away” from the men this week. And now, to my rant…don't sing ballads, please!!!
In the Semis, America wants to be “WOW”ed. Ballads only wow if they're *really* good. So in the beginning, before you get your confidence, bust out something upbeat to shake off the nerves. After you make the Finals, and the Theme is chosen for you, pick a ballad if you want. But I wouldn't pick one lightly.
Appalled
Sundance - The other night I was watching “Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern” on the Travel Channel. He ate eggs with rotten meat. Yum-O. To me, Pearl Jam is the musical equivalent of that meal. So it didn't really matter what Sundance did with it. And then he made it worse. Ew.
Bored
Sanjaya - This is his first appearance outside the “Appalled” category. Wake me when he's gone. Oh, and why am I *not* shocked he can do the hula?
Pleasantly Surprised/Not Overly Impressed
Jared - Okay, so the fast part of the song looked and sounded like Carlton from “Fresh Prince”, which is *not* good. But the slower portion was actually quite good.
Phil - This the “Not Overly” category. It had good spots, but he seems to be back to his “I don't know how to sing the beginning of the song” thing.
Impressed
Chris S. - Partly I give him props for singing a Christian song (although not an explicit one). Shocked that the judges didn't dig it. I dug it.
Blake - Although I can't say I really *liked* the performance, I have to admit that was a *hard* song to pull off. Not just anybody could have done it.
Chris R. - I liked that he made the song his own, but I have to agree with Simon that it was a scosh (a good sized scosh) nasal.
Brandon - I thought the judges were high in their review of this song. I thought it was his first good performance.
So, my rankings:
- Chris S.
- Blake
- Chris R.
- Brandon
- Jared
- Phil
- Sanjaya
- Sundance
I think Heed and Sanjaya are okay (unexplainably in one case), but Brandon's deeeed. Phil might take the train too, for doing a girl song.
I'll review the (hopefully better) ladies tomowwor.
Filed under bible
So, a couple weeks ago, I was at a rehearsal for the Men’s Retreat Worship team. One of the songs we’re singing is “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing.”
Now, I’ve long been aware of some archaic words in Hymns, and yet I love them. I’m sure there are some out there who, when singing “All Hail the Power of Jesus’ Name”, wonder why we would bring forth a contraceptive device to “Crown Him Lord of All”. (diadem, BTW. No, seriously, I’ve actually heard this)
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