Saul is one of the sadder stories in the Bible. He started out with such promise, delivering the people of Jabesh Gilead from their oppressors. And then, he was given the task of starting to complete the conquest of Canaan. Start with Amalek. Wipe them out.
But Saul thought God was being wasteful (1 Samuel 15, by the way. Slightly paraphrased).
Naturally, I should point out that, as I'm posting this the morning after the Happy Results (Sanjaya is now DEEED!), I predicted exactly this outcome. Except for the whole Blake and Sanjaya in the Bottom 3. I *did* predict Lakisha…
Here's how I ranked 'em:
Here's what “Doing the Math” predicted:
Maybe I should have seen Blake making it into the Bottom 3. Oh well. My predictions (52% accurate) were Phil, Chris, and Lakisha. Which leaves me at 46.7% accurate for next week. I think I'll just use a dartboard next time.
This isn't so much a rant as a bit of background about my lack of respect for the guest “artist” this week. J-Lo. First, the positive: She has talent roughly equal, if not a bit better, than our Token Female Judge. Also, “Out of Sight” is an *extremely* good movie. There, I said it. The bad news is, she's a little bit better than Paula Abdul. If not for Ricky Martin and the Latin Craze, lets just say, in Futbol terms, her recording career would have been nil-nil. Okay, and one other thing. I know it's Latin Week, but did we really need three Miami Sound Machine songs? Gloria Estefan has never been accused of being a great singer. So, my problem with Lakisha, Haley, and Jordin's song choices was, those songs are all *sizzle* but no *steak*. 1. Blake - Great song choice, good vocal. His tone is still really bright, and I wish there's something he could do to soften it a little. Predictions? I'm down to 55% accuracy. Go me! But here's the Doing the Math… This matches up well with my Bottom 3 for the week, if I didn't think Sanjaya was still wearing his vote-proof flak jacket. But since I would hate to drop anybody else in, I'll go with Sanjaya, Phil, and Haley. I think Phil's going home, because his legs aren't as attractive as Haley's. Seriously…that's what we've sunk to.
2. Melinda - Loved the dress, and I love the song, but I like the Michael Buble version better. Not spectacular. In fact, there were a couple of actual bad spots.
3. Chris - Best song choice of the night, but vocally it would have suited Phil more. Chris just doesn't have enough grit to really pull off Rob Thomas. Still, I liked it.
4. Jordin - Pull back from the mike when you take a breath in. The gasping has to go. Song choice…bad.
5. Lakisha - You know what that song needed? Some large and mushy cleaveage. Keep that in mind for next time. Oh, and song choice…bad.
6. Sanjaya - Agreed with Randy. Terrific song choice. Anything upbeat would have, well, upbeat the snot out of him. Going softer really worked for him. Of course, when you're getting drowned out by the string section, you may have a volume issue…
7. Phil - How you've fallen! I admit I didn't hear the whole thing, but the best seat in the house would have been inside his nasal passages. It was all back-of-the-throat-nasally.
8. Haley - At least Phil went for a song that required actual singing. Those short-shorts were doing their job though. You really want to move on using that tactic?
Here's the situation as it stands: we're in Week 04, and I still don't care. That said, let's get to my rankings:
1. Melinda - This show, for Melinda, is like me playing basketball on a 7.5 foot hoop. She can do whatever she wants and doesn't even look like it's difficult.
2. Chris - Although I think this song reached it's peak with the Louis Armstrong rendition, I really liked Chris' updated version of it. Not as nasal as he usually is, but he managed to make it kinda hip, wi
3. Gina - Very nicely done, but please lose the tongue ring. It just looks trashy to me.thout it sounding too Karaoke.
4. Blake - I hate, hate, hate “Mack the Knife.” Last week, Lakisha made me like “Last Dance”, another song I hate. Blake didn't do it.
5. Lakisha - Decent singing, but quite boring to me. And she should have listened to Mr. Bennett about the tag on the end of the song.
6. Jordin - Wow, I just realized I completely forgot her. Ouch. She sounded congested to me, and I didn't really like the performance. She sang a'ight, but there was no sparkle. And she usually has sparkle.
7. Phil - Okay, the singing part was decent, but it sounded like a Tony Bennett impression to me, and that makes it seem a bit Karaoke. Good Karaoke, but still….
8. Haley - Once again I forgot she was there. This was the best possible genre for her, but it was absolutely OLD.
9. Sanjaya - Thanks for that. I needed a chuckle. Absolutely ridiculous.
I thought Chris was the standout this week, because he did something fresher than anybody else. But there's no way he outsung Melinda. There are so many great Tony Bennett songs. I would have loved to have heard “Stranger in Paradise” or “I Wanna Be Around”, “Just in Time”, or even “The Boulevard of Broken Dreams”. BTW, pick up “The Ultimate Tony Bennett”…it's excellent.
So, for the exodus, I'll put Haley, Phil, and Jordin in the Bottom Three. I think Phil has run out of time. But I *am* glad we got to see his bald head this week instead of another stupid hat.
BTW, my “Doing the Math” shows this:
And my predictions are holding at 60%. Which is pretty much on par with putting a list on a fire hydrant, and letting dogs weigh in with their “thoughts”.