Scrabble Club President Facing Impeachment For Playing ‘Irregardless’
NERDY, US - The President of the local Scrabble Club is being impeached after allegedly playing the word ‘irregardless’ in a recent pickup game. As many are aware, the word does appear in many dictionaries, but the definition is simply ‘regardless,’ rendering the word redundant (and, some say, pernicious).
Will Beecha, president of the Club since late 2006, seemed shocked, saying, “I don’t know what I was thinking. I mean, somebody played ‘regard’ early on, and then ‘less’ got added to it. I was down to having just an ‘i’ and an ‘r’ in my rack, and I just choked by playing that word. It’s not in the official dictionary, and probably shouldn’t be in any dictionary. Is this something worthy of impeachment? I mean, supposably there’s a precedent for it, but can’t I get a little leniency?”
This comment sparked yet another scandal due to Beecha’s use of the non-word “supposably” (properly “supposedly”).
Faced with the additional scandal, Mr. Beecha was apologetic and talked of resigning before the impeachment could take place.
“You know, when you run on a platform of Grammar Snobbery, and you barely make the grade as a Word Nerd, well, you just have to take the consequences. I think we did a lot of good, though. I just hope you all can leave me alone and let me deal with this privately. This is really between me, my family, and our God. Oh, and by God, I mean William Safire.”
Source: O. Handwasher
