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British Researchers Disprove Monkey Theory, Explain Olbermann

PLYMOUTH, UK - Researchers at the University of Plymouth have disproved the spirit of the theory, sometimes attributed to Thomas Henry Huxley, that an infinite number of monkeys typing randomly could produce the works of Shakespeare.

The researchers placed a computer in an enclosure with six Celebes Crested Macaques in Paignton Zoo in Devon, England for a month.  The total output:  about five pages, mostly consisting of the letter S, but also featuring A, J, L, and M.

The monkeys’ major output was in the form of urine and feces which were targeted at the computer and keyboard.

Clearly, the experiment did not feature an infinite number of monkeys, and therefore did not truly disprove the Monkey Shakespeare Theory.  It did, however, shed quite a bit of light on the work of a certain MSNBC “news” personality.  The monkeys’ work has been called¹ “strikingly similar” to that of Keith Olbermann, in smell if not in content.

Source: O. Handwasher

¹Mr. Handwasher has made this comparison.

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BTW, the study is on the level.  It happened in 2003, at which time Mr. Olbermann was still only talking about sports, an area in which he has actual experience and talent.  I bear no true enmity for Mr. Olbermann.  Indeed, I admire his ability to get paid for what he does.