Foney Fridays: Pitch Imperfect
Local Choir Debates Pitch Security
PORTLAND, OR - A local choir is caught up in the midst of a major theological and musical controversy. The issue at hand is the security of a singer's pitch. The debate has been going on for several weeks and shows little sign of abating.
Three factions have arisen to give voice to three very different viewpoints. The first group calls itself Once On, Always On. The group's spokesperson, Gordon Tikket, had this to say:
"I know it may sound like some of us have lost pitch, but we made that important decision to have pitch. All our flatness of the past, present and future has been forgiven. If you had it once, you have it always, even though you may sound terrible."
Art Minion, speaking for the group known as Pitch Imperfect, replied:
"It's our responsibility to steward our pitch, and to examine ourselves to see that we've still got it. And when we fall short, we should try harder next time."
To this seemingly sensible reply, the third and most vociferous group (Perseverance of Pitch) replied, through spokesperson Cal Isstik:
"Pitch is a gift. If the director has not granted it to you, you don't have it and never will. Not everyone has it. But if you were elected to it, then in the end, you will have good pitch."
Asked why it is that the choir sometimes seems to, as a whole, lose pitch, Mr. Istick replied, "I think it's worth investigating whether those who lose their pitch ever had it in the first place."
Source: O.Handwasher