Collateral Bloggage What passes for thought around here…

WordfuI Wednesday: I See Rude People

Sometimes it just comes down to the title.  I subscribe to the Washington County Libraries New Materials RSS feed, so I see everything that’s added to the library catalog.  A good title catches my eye, and I’m generally quick to request the book, even if just for a thumb-through.

(This is how I came across one of my favorite books of 2007, What a Way to Go, which I otherwise would never have sought out.)

Amy Alkon’s I See Rude People: One Woman’s Battle to Beat Some Manners into Impolite Society is a Good Title pickup.  It’s a hilarious and surprisingly profound series of chapters detailing her outrageous, yet brave, efforts to take back some ground in the battle to improve society.

(BTW, I was attracted to the title, not the subtitle.  I’m not sure I’ve ever read anything with the phrase “One Woman’s Battle” in it before.  But I’m secure in my manhood, so everything’s cool.)

The book is essentially a humorous call to action.  Alkon wants more people to stand up to rudeness in everyday life.  She takes on a range of subjects, from bad customer service at banks or law enforcement agencies, to obnoxious cell phone abusers, to the problem of under-parented children (directing her ire at the adults in the equation).

In addition to titling the book well, she also managed to come up with some great chapter titles, including “The Mobile Savage” and “It’s Only Free for Telemarketers to Call You Because You Have Yet to Invoice Them.”

I actually wonder if I would’ve had the guts to post a negative review of this book, because if there’s anything I learned while reading it, it’s that Amy Alkon is scary, and she would find me, as she found the guy who stole her car (after the police were essentially useless in the matter).

Fortunately, I thought it was terrific fun to read, and I very much admire her spunk and her willingness to put herself out there because someone has to.

But the really cool thing about the book is that the subjects are not only funny, but Alkon manages to bring some science to bear on the issues.  For instance, she explains why a cell phone conversation is more distracting to use than a loud discussion between two people.  (Hearing only half the conversation causes our brains to try to fill in the other half, making it harder to ignore.)

The key takeaway from the book is that most people enable other people’s rudeness by doing nothing.  It’s very much like tipping well for poor service.  You feel good for tipping well, but you haven’t improved the restaurant’s service, so someone else will suffer through it after you.

(Oh, and another takeaway is that people don’t like to be rebuked, and they’ll act like you’re the jerk.)

In each chapter, there’s a problem Alkon is confronted with, and then an inspiring tale of how she extracted her pound of flesh (like invoicing the telemarketers).  There’s something viscerally satisfying about knowing the perpetrators of discourtesy get what’s coming to them, even if most of us don’t want to be the one doing the confronting.

It reminds me of the time my sister and I were flying between Anchorage and Portland (excuse me if I can’t remember which direction), on a Red-Eye flight (read: the one where you’d rather be in bed), and some punk a few rows back was blasting, and I do not jest, Color Me Badd, on a boom-box.  And yes, this dates me a bit, but I will point out that the Sony Discman had been invented, so the boom-box was almost anachronistic even then.

Repeated attempts by other passengers to shut him up hadn’t worked, and no one apparently knew the Vulcan Neck Pinch maneuver so wonderfully employed in a similar situation in Star Trek IV, so the torture continued.  The cabin crew got involved, right down to the Captain coming back and warning him that it was a federal offense to disobey the flight crew.  The jerk was not impressed. 

He was somewhat more impressed when the FBI cuffed him at the gate.  It was a beautiful thing.

Now, I should probably point out that Amy Alkon is not afraid to use, as Mr. Spock would put it, “colorful metaphors,” and she makes no apology for it.  I wasn’t greatly offended by this, but just thought I’d throw it out there that I’m not giving the book an across-the-board recommendation.

The concluding chapter talks about the merits of being nice, one of which is a positive impact on our happiness.  It’s all very Happiness is a Serious Problem.  There’s also a good bit about how our acting kindly has an influence on others around us.  But it also works the other way, and we’re letting the Rudes win!

Finally, I must conclude with the money quote from the chapter about cell phone use.  And this one’s for my dad:

One shouldn’t use a cell phone anywhere one wouldn’t feel perfectly comfortable passing a big, loud cloud of gas.

So my old roommate would have carte blanche to talk on his cell anywhere, any time. 

Next up is Childhood’s End, by Arthur C. Clarke.  Also for my dad.