Collateral Bloggage

Perhaps you’d expect to see this announcement over at the Handwasher Blog, but Mr. Handwasher and I agreed that if less is more, imagine how much more more could be!  So, you may see this in two places.  The announcement?  October 15th.  Save the date.  It’s Global Handwashing Day!!!

Now, I realize that the “holiday” is meant to bring awareness and improved cleansing of hands around the world, particularly in developing nations and places where infectious disease is more of a threat than here in the good-old-U.S.  But I think it’s a great time to encourage all the fake-hand-washers you know to make some sort of attempt at actual hygiene.

Don’t think you know any fakers?  You do.  Just pick ten random men that you know.  Eight or nine of them are fakers.  I’m totally going to make a sign to post on the mirror in my work restroom.  I’ll post (er, I mean, Mr. Handwasher will post) a picture of it on the Handwasher Blog.

Oh…linkage.  Check out the Global Handwashing Day website.

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Just a random thing about me…I don’t like shoes.  I feel they have extremely limited utility.  I like my Birkenstocks, but mostly even then because I can easily kick them off while at my desk.  I nearly always buy shoes with no laces so I can slip them off whenever I feel like it…which is most of the time.

However, I have a pair of Steve Maddens from Famous Footwear that I rarely take off even when I could.  I actually like a pair of shoes!!!

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As much as I harp on football, I actually do enjoy football highlights.  I just don’t like that Sportscenter can always find a way to lead with football even when it’s not football season.  Yesterday, Ethan and I turned on Fox to watch the NLCS and caught the last few minutes of the Cowboys-Cardinals game.  Ending it in overtime on a blocked punt touchdown was awesome.  And the Cowboys lost, which always brings a smile to my face.

There were actually two blocked punts on Sunday.  Cool.  There was a cool double reverse pass thingy…nice.  I’m a sucker for trick plays.  Baseball’s still better, but I can appreciate the good parts of football, even if the over-the-top celebrations for well-timed tackles bother me.

And I’ve realized that Ethan’s sports education is a bit one-sided.  He knows that you can take first base if the catcher drops strike three and first base is open, but he had no idea what a touchdown was.  He thinks football is a game we play out in the greenspace, where I kick the ball, then let him get to it, pick him up, and shake him upside down until he drops it.  At some point maybe I’ll fill in some of the blanks for him.  I don’t want him to be one of those guys who’s nervous to go to a Super Bowl party because he’s afraid the other guys will find out he doesn’t know anything about the game.

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While The Fair Elaine was out of town, I decided to cook.  I made awesome Lentil Soup.  Here’s the recipe if you’re interested.  It’s vegan and delicious.  Oh, and it was an alteration of a recipe from the Veganomicon.

2 cups lentils (Any of the brown/green/black variety should work.  Pink or yellow not so much)
8 cups vegetable broth (I used Imagine Foods’ “No Chicken Broth”)
4 carrots
4 stalks celery
1 small/medium onion
4 Yukon gold potatoes
4 cloves garlic (feel free to adjust to taste)
1 Tbsp olive oil
1 tsp tarragon
1/2 tsp thyme
1/2 tsp paprika
salt and pepper to taste

Finely dice the onion.  Mince the garlic.  Chop the carrots and celery into 1/4″ slices.  Cut potatoes into chunks of whatever size you wish.

In a large pot (I used cast iron), saute the veggies in the olive oil until the onions start to color.  Maybe 5-10 minutes.

Add the spices, vegetable broth, and lentils.  Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and cover.  Simmer 45 minutes or until lentils are tender.

Serve with whole grain bread.  Yum!

BTW, I also added some leeks because I had them.  But I don’t think they’d make or break the recipe.  Oh, and Ethan loved the soup.  He even ate leftovers the next day.

There’s a new Ender book coming out in November!!!  Yes, Orson Scott Card posted on his blog that Ender in Exile will be coming out in November!!!!  Did I mention it’s coming out in November!!!???

You might guess I’m a huge fan of the Ender series.  You’d be right.  If you’re even remotely interested in Science Fiction, you need to read Ender’s Game.  It’s a classic, and it’s an easy read.  The sequel, Speaker for the Dead, is currently my favorite book.  I don’t see that changing.

Thus far, there are eight major fiction works in the Ender series (although half the series is really a spinoff, albeit a really good one).  I’m excited to read number nine.  Did I convey that adequately?

Oh, and my birthday’s in November.  Just sayin’.

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The Bathroom Blog is now well underway.  Mr. Handwasher is doing his level best to inform and appall the world about what’s wrong with our restrooms.  Go over there and check it out.  He’s lonely.  I promise there’s some funny stuff over there.  And he takes submissions from readers.

And yes, I called it a Restroom Blog last week.  So maybe I’m (I mean, Mr. Handwasher is) confused about what it should be called.  There’s even a poll there for helping choose the title.  Seriously…go!

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It’s the season of Politics.  I’m tempted to do political posts (the JibJab one doesn’t count).  But like many bumper stickers that, regardless of what they say, boil down to “let’s not hang out,” political posts generally do more harm than good.  So, let this be my lone political post.  And the content?  “I’m not going to do political posts.”

I hope this lapse into political discussion hasn’t alienated anyone.

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I love baseball, and I’m saddened that football has now begun.  I follow the stories of football, because I’m also just a general sports fan, but I don’t spend much time thinking about it or watching it.  Baseball, on the other hand, I consume in typical American portions.

As a Northwest Baseball Fan, there really hasn’t been much to celebrate this year.  The Mariners have stunk it up through a mixture of Front Office and Managerial Ineptitude and On-The-Field Suckiness.  One of the only bright spots this year has been Brandon Morrow.  Early in the season, J.J. Putz went on the DL (Disabled List), and the M’s needed a closer.  Morrow stepped in and blew hitters away with almost exclusively cheddar (meaning really, really, really hard fastballs).

Then, much to the delight of the Mariner bloggers, the organization realized they’d be better served by having Morrow as a starting pitcher.  They sent him down to Tacoma to stretch out his arm and finally put him against big league hitters as a starter on Friday.

All he did was come within four outs of throwing a no-hitter.  That was awesome.  I’ll be completely glued to his next start (which will come against the Angels, and it won’t be easy).  Finally, a reason to watch the Mariners.  Not that I’ve needed one thus far other than “they’re there.”  Still, it’s nice to have a reason.

My son is seven.  Which is absurd, becuz I am not nearly old enough to have a seven-year-old.  Alright…maybe my knees and feet are, but the rest of me is still very young.  Except maybe my hairline.  Maybe my waistline.  Definitely not my sense of humor (where immaturity holds on for dear life).  Shoulders are on the bubble.

Nah, I don’t feel old.  Just because my son is only nine years from driving, eleven years from voting…no need to panic.

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Okay, so we’ve established I’m most definitely not old.  And I’m certainly not a 98-pound-weakling (NPW).  I could snap an NPW’s neck like a chicken’s.  I’m (nearly…or almost…or slightly more than) twice the man of a NPW.

On the other hand, I haven’t exactly been burning up the workout facilities -anywhere- in some time.

Solution?  One Hundred Pushups.  Yep, I’m training myself to be able to drop and gimme (Really?  Give myself?) 100.  How?  Well, observe:

If you don’t want to visit the link right now, I’ll break down the system for you.  First, you do a pre-assessment.  Basically, you drop and do as many reps as you can.  The number you grunt out puts you into different training intensities.  I made the mistake of being able to do too many, and I’ve found the program difficult.  I’m not saying you should slack on the pre-assessment, but I’d encourage trying to do the pushups in a very controlled manner.  That way, you can ease into the training a bit more.  Plus, it’s probably a better isometric exercise when done on the slow side.

You’ll do your exercise three days a week, and it’s broken into four levels.  For instance, you might do 20, then 15, then 13, then 13 again.  Then you do as many as you can for the fifth level.  I know, I said four levels.  You rest between sets, of course, so it takes some precious time away from reading coffee and drinking books.  Sorry…a bit punchy from my workout.  And still pumped.

I like the feeling of my flabby muscles starting to harden.  I just hope my shoulders are up to the task.

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My little sister is in Japan.  Awesome.  She’s there for a seven-month stint as an Engrish Teacher.  Okay, English Teacher.  I set her up a blog on heasley.net so she could blog about her experiences there.  That way, when she gets back and starts telling us her cool stories, we can say, “Oh, you blogged about that.”  You can’t underestimate the value of that.

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You might not think of Stephen King as a funny man, but he is.  I’m not a big fan of his work, never having actually cracked the cover of one of his books (I listened to The Gunslinger, but that’s it).  But his take on Movie Snacks is altogether hilarious.  Hat tip: Colin.

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Funny…I thought I had nothing about which to muse.

One of the hilarious thing about traveling to Asia (and Japan in particular) is the enjoyment of the many poor English translations on display.  And it’s not just in places you’d expect, like maps and menus.  It’s also on shirts and mugs and various other products.

For examples of the hilarity, I give you Engrish.com

Nice, eh?  Wouldn’t want the other person’s feelings to be bad.  How about a menu?

I have no idea what “Piling match of cheese” is, but I’m quite sure I don’t want the French flies.  When we were in Japan, we encountered “Scent of garlic extinction” on a menu.  Decided not to order it.

And then there’s just the confusing…

Men’s Retreat?

Not to harp on the Japanese (actually not all these are from Japan) too much, because I’ve always wondered if about half the kanji tattoos you see on shoulders actually say, “I’m a smelly barbarian.”

Anyhow, hopefully I’ve caused you to lose some time browsing the hilarity.  It’s my gift to you.

This week, I’m putting in a recommendation - guarded tho it be - for JibJab.com.  Particularly during election years, they produce some really funny stuff.  Back in ‘04, they had the hilarious if off-color “This Land.”  This time around, it’s “Time for Some Campaignin’.”  There are a few words I wouldn’t use, but nothing you wouldn’t find in Primetime.  Take that advisory for what it is.

If you’ve done basically any word-processing, you’ll probably get a kick out of this.  It’s “The Font Conference,” from College Humor.

I have no idea how I’ve managed to post eleven Too Funny Tuesdays without hitting Dilbert.  Maybe it’s because I’ve only recently gotten an account on Dilbert.com.  A coworker sent out this series, and it’s very much in keeping with my view of management of major corporations.

It’s especially sweet to post something like this as I take a week off from the major corporation where I normally spend my days.  Biting the hand that feeds me?

I’ve found a very, very kewl tool. The NETBible. Normally I use Bible Gateway for looking up passages or copy/pasting verses into my blog entries. But the NETBible is extra groovy. It’s got a nice parallel format for comparing translations, downloadable Greek and Hebrew fonts for those who are into that kind of thing, nifty satellite maps of the Holy Land for anyone interested in Biblical Geography, and a ton of other stuff.

The other thing it has is a very interesting translation. As I was informed while listening to a Greek lecture that goes with my Greek for the Rest of Us book, it’s the only translation that does John 3:16 correctly. You’re probably used to this:

This implies that God, loving us SOOO much, just had to send Jesus. But that’s not exactly what’s implied. Here’s the NETBible rendering:

So, it’s not about how much He loved us, it’s about how he loved us.  Meaning, how His love was displayed.

The NETBible has cool footnotes to go along with its translation so you can understand why it was rendered that way. Go check it out. It’s very cool.

In this week’s edition of TFT, I’ll go for some Christian humor. In this case, it was gleaned from The Virtual Church of the Blind Chihuahua. What? Never been there? Interesting place (more info later, or just visit the site and check it out). Anyhow, here’s the humor: (more…)

A coworker of mine got me hooked on a webcomic a while back, so I thought it was time I paid it forward (using that phrase without really knowing what it means, by way of full disclosure).

If you like really detailed, well drawn comic strips, do not read any further. If you go in for strange, incomprehensible, occasionally hilarious drawings of stick figures, this just might be for you. Most of them tend toward inside jokes for geeks, but don’t be insulted if you understand them and you’re not a geek (but you totally are if you do).

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